I know it's been a long time since my last post. I've been keeping myself pretty busy lately! Unfortunately, it's not all fun and games though. Lately, I've been lamenting the fact that at 30, I felt as if I were living like a college student. I picked up a second job; my free time (and sleep time) has taken a huge hit. Suddenly, it's been harder to get housework done, or do fun things after work with my friends. And as with any lifestyle change, you get a little anxious.
So I couldn't help but start remembering my college days, when I never went on Spring Break with my friends, and how by March I had always run out of work-study funds, ran up credit cards, couldn't get a job at the mall, and was desperately worried about the future. I actually think I was pretty depressed during my senior year, as I compounded my problems and insecurities in my mind. I felt like a huge failure and as if I would never get anywhere in life. I ran home or into the arms of my high school friends several times because I was so stressed out. My dad had many heart to heart talks with me when I would get too bad and bailed me out several times.
These days, I carry very little debt outside of my car and student loans, which are plenty enough. I think I learned my lesson about the credit cards. I also don't depend on my student ID card for my groceries, have a dog (or two) that depend on me, I live in and have furnished a 3 bedroom house, not a dorm room or apartment, etc. But I guess I was a little frustrated when I realized that it was really in my best interests to get a second job. I was a little ashamed, feeling like a woman at my age and level of education should not need a second job. But really, there is no shame in wanting to have more spending money, money to make much needed home improvements, money to start saving. I love my job, my colleagues, and my institution. But the reality of my chosen profession is that it's not one that ever made anyone rich. So right now, while I'm young and able, I need to be as debt free as I can and save as much as I can. I need to stop being so stubbornly proud and invest in my future.
But what really changed my outlook, came today when I was on reddit, and I saw a discussion that turned out to be nothing like I thought it would be. Under the Ask Reddit category, someone posed the question, what is the craziest thing you've done to save money (or something to that effect)? I clicked on it, expecting to see that there would be a few troll answers, such as "prostitution" or "the mafia". But in my mind, I was thinking, "Oh yeah! Maybe some new recipes with bulk foods, or tips like re-using ziplock bags!" I was hoping to add some tips and tricks into my more minimalist, healthy, frugal lifestyle.
What I saw instead, were people who had gone without, taking home their free lunch from school to share with their little siblings, people who couldn't afford toilet paper, people who couch surfed or had been homeless, people who had bundled even the littlest twigs to use as firewood because they couldn't afford to plug in their only other source of heat. Some people were really ashamed about the things poverty had forced them to do. But really, a lot of them were remembering their childhood and/or times when they had no control over whatever their situation had been.
I read their stories; I felt their shame and desperation, and also I realized, I might be just making ends meet, but I was never going to be hungry. I was never going to be homeless. So what if I go without vacations, designer anything, HBO, granite countertops; I will be okay. Some of the people who posted in that discussion, they are only alive today because someone was kind enough to give them food or shelter at some point in their lives. I am very lucky to have family, friends, skills, education, two hands and two legs. For the foreseeable future, I can work, I can bring money into my household. Sure things get tight and I have to stick to the basics once in a while, but let's face it, no one really NEEDS brie cheese or a new pair of shoes to survive. Suddenly, I gained a whole new perspective because I was reminded of the difference between needs and wants, between surviving and living. And I am much closer to the "living" side of the spectrum, for which I am grateful.
I know I'm not the only one who has picked up or is thinking about a second job. It was something I thought about for the better part of a year before I finally started. And really, so far, it's been pretty good. I got a part-time job at a clothing store I frequent, where I already knew some of the other people and I knew they were short-staffed. So I get to help them out, I get a discount, and I make some extra money to put towards concert tickets, wedding presents, things for the house and so on. So my advice is, if you're thinking about a second job, do it. Sometimes I'm tired or I feel like a bad friend because I don't have as much time, but I'm learning to balance things and in the end, when I've paid down some debt and have some other things done, it will be so worth it.
