This week, I was thinking about how different my life is compared with my life of a few years ago. It's not just the chronological age I've gained, but I went through a lot of other changes as well. I got a master's degree. I took on a completely different job. I had weight loss surgery. Moved a couple times. In many ways, I feel like my mid-twenties was sort of a dream, a three year time period of being in limbo and not really going anywhere, just living for the weekend and having a lot of time on my hands.
These days, time is a precious item. Even weekends involve work, traveling, cooking, cleaning, maintaining relationships, obligations. But I don't want this week's entry to be about me whining. Because I'm not the only one who changed in the last several years. Society has changed. In some ways for the good, i.e. gay rights. But more and more, I see how the media has affected our soceity and it's capacity to consume.
Oscar Wilde (one of my favorite authors) is credited with stating that, "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilation in between." I tend to agree with the man. All you need to do is turn on the television set and you see the monstrosities women call wedding dresses on Say Yes to the Dress, or the fact that someone, somewhere decided it was okay to melt ketchup and margarine together to make "Sketties" such as on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
I do understand this is not a new concept, the whole "American Dream" and "keeping up with the Joneses" is something that has been done for decades. But now instead of comparing Ford Thunderbirds to Chrysler 300's, it's about Mercedes vs Porches and shows like My Super Sweet 16 where cars are given to kids who can barely get their learning permit. And it's not just the material things like cars, iPhones, and designer handbags. It's the intangible as well. Private school educations, travel, plastic surgery. And don't get me started in Pinterest. That's my next blog.
One of my favorite movies, Mean Girls, was on television last week and of course I had to watch it. There's a scene where the main character, Cady, watches her new "friends" look in a mirror and almost ritualistically beat themselves up. In turn, the next girl says something bad about herself, thus not only fitting in, but making the previous girl(s) feel better. In her internal dialogue, Cady remarks, "I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently, there's lots of things that can be wrong with your body."
Like Cady, until recently, I lived in that same bubble. But as I have more life experiences, and I change, I'm starting to learn that there are a whole host of things that people are worried about. Stuff that anyone could fall prey to if they let themselves. For example, I frequent a site called reddit. It's not quite a social network, more like an online community and social news site. You can subscribe to any number of sub-reddits for whatever interest you may have. Some of my subsciptions are soccer, relationships, Pittsburgh, Irish Music, etc. You get the picture.
Other redditors submit interesting links, pictures, and videos for comment, or just to share. Many sub-reddits are designed for people to ask advice on situations. And the questions I've seen show me just how much people have bought into the marketing they are fed from TV programs, comercials, porn, movies, each other, and so on. Americans are so insecure. Every day there are questions on reddit and countless other sites such as "I think the gap between my breasts is too large", or "I'm 17 and don't have a car, will any girl ever date me?"
Really!? You mean now that I have the job, a place of my own and I'm working on losing weight, I STILL have to worry about something?! My quality of life won't change because now I have to be concerned about drinking the right drink, make love like a porn star (thank you, Jenna Jameson), dress like Coco Chanel, cook like Ina Garten and look like Kim Kardashian? Well that's just fantastic. I'll get right on that. NOT. It's impossible.
So, what is it all for?! I could fall prey to this line of thinking and worry about everything from how my foot sweat smells to the tiniest scratch on my iPod. I'm certain that I can buy products to "improve" or "solve" these "problems". But in the end, who besides myself, is even noticing these things, let alone caring about them?
Many years ago, I was commiserating with someone about how much I hate my flabby arms. No amount of weight lost or exercise has toned them up, they are my worst trouble spot. And you know what she said to me? "I never noticed them. No one cares about your arms, just you." I may never be comfortable in a tank top. But from that day forward, I have learned to stop obssessing over a lot of my insecurities. I try to remember her words and realize that no one is focused on my arms, or the label on my purse, the value of my house, etc. And if they are, it sounds like they have the problem. Not me.
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